MY JOURNEY #1

I am sitting in front of my desk watching a video, "When no one believed in me and I finally succed." with a woman's face full of satisfied. All of this getting me think about my self. Honestly, I am really surrounded by good people who support me. Instead "when no one believed in me", "everyone believed in me" happen to my life. Really. Sometimes, I am so grateful and thankful. But, sometimes I got embaressed. I haven't got any achievements till now.

Lately, I've been always overthinking. This has never happened before. I am worrying about my life and my future, which is I don't have to. Okay. I'll tell you about my story. I believe I will have a amazing career or work or finance. My mom once told me when she looked at my pic, "You look like someone destined for greatness." Those word became my guide to this day. Like, those word came from a mom to a daughter. It would be something. Something. I really believe in me, actually. But, sometimes I feel fear and full of anxiety. Yeah, I never expected building a career to be this challenging. I have attended 2 job interviews. I got rejected in my first. I am so okay with that. But, for my second, I really want that job. The results are yet to be announced, tho. But, I am feeling that I most likely won't make it. I know, we should be positive. Anyway, my favorite book is "The Magic of Thinking Big" which is having a positive thinking can create a powerful impact. Maintaining a positive thoughts can lead to remarkable outcomes. So hard to say this. Turns out, I am much weaker than I thought. My failure to secure my first job interview and the dissappointed about my second have completely broken my morning routine. I've been studying less, sleeping more, spending longer hours watching movies (it is still for my English learning but not helping much for me), completely unhelpful for my progress. But, the quote, "It's okay to not have energy all the time. We all need a break sometimes." helped me a little. You have to know me. I am a very productive person, at least I am a very productive person I've ever met. I can even listening to English podcast while using the bathroom. Listening to learning audio while cooking. Practice my English while lying on bed. My soul becomes deeply uneasy when my time is spent on things that hold no value. Becoming lazy after a heartbreak only made me sink deeper into the pain.

So, one thing that can I do at this moment is trying as much as I can to see my failure as my experience. Turning my failures into valuable lessons. "If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow." And I am trying to rebuild my morning routine with more focus. I hope we can embrace every failure by turning each one into a stepping stone to the better version of ourselves.